Trash Mutant's News Dump: Hail Satan

- by Ninja Ross, 5 June, 2020

Welcome to Trash Mutant's News Dump! Where we dump upon you this week's hardest hitting news from the garbage pile that is our beloved pop culture!

Movies

Scorsese’s New Movie to be Released on Apple TV+
Martin Scorsese will be releasing his new film, Killers of the Flower Moon, on Apple TV+, but hasn’t discussed the other streaming platforms it will be shown on. Apple TV+ what, Martin? Plus what?!?

No Graphic Sex Scenes in Godzilla vs Kong
While potentially disappointing for some, Godzilla Vs Kong has received a PG-13 rating from the MPAA, meaning there will definitely be no monkey/lizard love.

Comic Books

Attempted Murderer and Animal Abuser Gets Biographical Comic Book
When you put it like that, Tiger King’s Joe Exotic doesn't seem so fun and cool, does he?

DC Comics Makes 2020 Worse by Offending Satan
Following Issue 18 of Lucifer, the comic book series has been cancelled with the remaining chapters to be released as a graphic novel. Seems like they're pushing it a bit, considering the year we’re having.

Science

Switzerland Confirms Existence of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
While claiming it’s to help in sewer repairs, Hendrik Kolvenbach at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology (ETH Zurich) has created a robot that is clearly designed to hunt mutant turtles.

Mars Hasn’t Always Been Single
New research suggests that Mars was once married, but has since ditched its ring in favour of a bachelor/Bachelorette lifestyle. Further research is needed to see if planets have genders.

World’s Deepest Octopus Caught on Film
Scientists are still working on translating octopus speak to human, but preliminary results reveal it’s saying, like, real deep stuff, man.

Video Games

Sega and Opticians Conspire Against Gamers
To celebrate their 60th anniversery, Sega are releasing the Game Gear Micro, which comes with a 1.15inch screen. Accusations of a deal with opticians to drive up glasses sales have been ignored.

New Sims 4 Patch Adds STDs
EA have released a new patch for Sims 4 in preparation for the upcoming Eco Lifestyle expansion, which includes symptoms like peeing fire in some sort of STD pack.

Pokemon Sword and Shield Expansion Due June 10
Nintendo have finally realised that those little tiny Switch games are too easy to lose under stuff and will be somehow expanding the cartridges.

That concludes this week's News Dump. If you have any thoughts, go ahead and dump it down in the comments!

Tagged: Science. Movies & TV. Comics. Video Games.