Trash Mutant's News Dump: It's a Pirate's Life for Me

- by Ninja Ross, 3 July, 2020

Welcome to Trash Mutant's News Dump! Where we dump upon you this week's hardest hitting news from the garbage pile that is our beloved pop culture!

Movies & TV

Tom Hanks Loses Role Model Status
While Tom Hanks has always been seen as one of the nicest guys in Hollywood, it appears his true colours have now been shown. During a press conference to promote his new movie, Greyhound, Hanks told people to not “be a pussy,” encouraging a masked crime spree, even going as far as to remind people to wash their hands as part of covering up these crimes.

Sony Branching into Construction
While details are scarce, it’s believed that Sony are planning to take a look at the construction industry, with Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse’s co-producer Christopher Miller Helping to create the new technology. The technology is being developed alongside the Spider-Verse sequel, with Miller saying they’re using “new groundbreaking art techniques”.

Margot Robbie Changing Careers
With the backing of Disney, Margot Robbie will be switching up her career. She’s currently in the early development stages, but looking to get into not only moving to the Caribbean and becoming a pirate, but creating them as well, becoming some sort of Caribbean pirate producer.

Artist's Impression

Science

Giant Son Abducted, Scientists Say He’s Dead
In 2019, a massive son disappeared without a trace. In a study published this week, Jose Groh, co-author and astronomer at Trinity College Dublin, said that the huge son went “gently into the night". This hasn’t been confirmed, so authorities are still looking for any information on this giant fat son. We are still awaiting further details of his description.

Pigs Begin Flying in China
It’s always been an idiom for something that could not possibly happen. But in China, pigs have been reportedly taking to the air. Unfortunately, these reports have not been unable to confirm how the swine flew.

Comic Books

Judge Dredd Experience Coming to London
Plans for a new attraction featuring Mega-City One, the world of 2000AD's Judge Dredd, have been announced by London’s Crystal Maze Live experience. The attraction is expected to include five zones, different narratives, laser tag, police brutality, poverty, job losses, giant spider creatures, mutants and flying surfboard gangs in an effort to recreate Mega-City One faithfully.

Marvel Bring Known Predator Onboard
Despite all of the recent sexual harassment and abuse claims in the comic book industry, Marvel comics has deliberately brought in a known Predator.

Video Games

The End is Nigh
Microsoft plan to close all of their physical retail stores, in favour of increasing their online presence. All employees will be given the chance to stay at Microsoft in different roles. While those roles go by normal names like “sales”, it’s clear Microsoft has become a sentient being and needs these employees on the payroll for their silence only. But soon it won't matter. Soon the end will come.

That concludes this week's News Dump. If you have any thoughts, go ahead and dump it down in the comments!

Tagged: Science. Movies & TV. Comics. Video Games.

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