Back Issues: "...Only Skin Deep!" (Tales From the Crypt #38)

- by Señor Editor, 22 February 2013

When I was a kid, I was a fan of the "Tales From The Crypt" Tv series. Back then I didn't even know the show was based on the classic EC comicbook series. I haven't seen the show in ages, but recently I've been reading plenty of the original comics. So in today's Back Issues, I thought I'd bring you a look at "...Only Skin Deep!" (from "Tales..." #38, 1953), a cautionary tale by Reed Crandall, that all of you planning on partying this Friday night should keep in mind!

"...Only Skin Deep!", as told by the Vault Keeper, is one of the episodes that were adapted by the show, but from what I know, the show's version was quite different. Our story opens in New Orleans, during Mardi Gras. Herbert has made up his mind to return there and wait to meet a woman he first met exactly five years ago, a woman he fell in love with: Suzanne.

Herbert meets Suzanne again.

No doubt, Suzanne is pretty hot and her costume game is really good! She pulled off the hot-witch-with-a-disturbingly-realistic-and-life-like-mask pretty damn spectacularly! Why, that costume is so crazy good that Suzanne actually wears it every Mardi Gras!

That's right everybody: true love prevails and it doesn't matter at all how good or bad you look, as long as you love each other! And Suzanne agrees! That's really lovely! This was Señor Editor, bringing some romance into your life in today's Back Issues! Thank you and see you another day!

...Okay, obviously the story isn't done yet. The young couple talk about it some more. Suzanne really wants to know if Herbie is sure, without ever seeing her without her mask. Herbie won't hear any of it, though. He's having a wonderful night and he wants it to be even more wonderful. Herbert tries to get a kiss in, but Suzanne tells him that he needs to marry her first!

They sure don't make women with such unrealistic expectations anymore!

Now that's a girl with some good old fashion values! Put a ring on it, Herbie! She can dance, she's shaped like a model and her costumes are a staple of every Mardi Gras! If this was today, her cosplay skills would make Suzanne famous!

Thankfully they know a place nearby where they can get married without having to wait. They are pronounced man and wife, and find a hotel room where they can stay for the night. Herbie is happy the night together was obviously worth all this weird stuff about no kissing and no taking off the mask.

As he smokes a cigarette, Herbie says "You know, darling? I never did get to see your face...", as if he just realized that. Suzanne is falling asleep though, so Herbie is left alone with his thoughts and a flashback to five years ago, to first seeing Sue with that "revolting hag-mask... and knowing that she was BEAUTIFUL". Herbie, you're a strange man.

Anyway, the reason why he didn't see Sue without the mask all those years ago, was because "it was better that way". He would remember her as he imagined her, cause "fantasy is sometimes more desirable than reality". Huh.

But now Herbie can't wait anymore. He turns on the lights and...

YAAAAAA! She looks exactly like she does when I fell in love with her!

Oh thank god! It was only a bad dream. But now that Herbie is awake, he REALLY needs to see how Suzanne looks. And so...

Deja vu!

Anyway, it seems Sue is really sleeping in that mask. Enough is enough, Suzanne! Take your old hag mask off! It's been five goddamn years, dammit! Herbie starts pulling on the mask like crazy, trying to get that damn thing off, and he seemingly succeeds, although Sue is screaming like a maniac! She's really attached to that mask!

Take note of the ugly stains on the scan!

Well, I'm sure we've all seen it coming that it was no mask at all, but still... damn. Sue was actually an old lady with a really hot body, or a young hot lady with a really old face. Anyway, now she has her hot body, but no face at all, and Herb is heaving.

I have to say, I am somewhat conflicted by this ending. If there's anything I learned from this story, though, it's this: ladies, fellas - if you ever meet someone who would be really hot if it wasn't for this really realistic hideous mask they're wearing, chances are it's not a mask. And that's our words of wisdom for this Friday, Trash Mutants. Party carefully!

Well, this was a bit different than the regular Back Issues, but we needed a break from superhero comics. Tales from the Crypt and EC Comics might return at some point in the future, though! Let us know if you enjoyed this installment of Back Issues!

Tagged: comics, Back Issues.

blog comments powered by Disqus

---

Follow @TrashMutant