"Slimed Chicken" (Slime Fiction)

- by Łukasz Kowalczuk, 17 June 2018

Slime Fiction is a series of short (from half a page to several pages long) stories about wrestlers, crabs, monsters, aliens and all kinds of things that make this world a beautiful place. Created by Łukasz Kowalczuk. Proudly hosted by Trash Mutant.

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I still had half an hour until teleportation, but I was getting real hungry after the job. Unfortunately, the only chow in the area was at a booth with a “K-BAB” sign on it. A lot of things have changed here since my last visit. The place was bustling, loud and overly colorful. Nobody paid any attention to a 6’7 purple dude. The boy behind the counter was no different – his eyes were firmly fixated on a small screen. 
I waited a minute before letting out a grunt.
 
- Hello, what can I uhhhh get ya? – asked “Mark IN TRAINING”.
- What do you recommend? – judging by his expression, it was not a question he heard often.
- Well, uhhhh kebabwrapkebabinpitabreadkebabwithfriesfala… Oh wait, we’re out of falafel.
- Kebab wrap, please.
- What kind of meat? Chickenbeefchickenandbeefmixed? – my translator was barely keeping up with the kid’s dialect. ​
- Chicken.
- Which sauce? There’s uhhhh garlicmildgarlichotspicytomat…
- Slime. – I interrupted him.
- Say what?

I forgot what a sad, backward planet this place was, both civilization and culinary-wise. They didn’t know the best spice in the Galaxy. The organic essence that made the worst imaginable dish at least edible. I had only one choice.
 
- No sauce.
- Uhhh, you want it packed to go?
- Yes.
 
Preparing the meal took as much time as switching my gun to Transformation mode. “IN TRAINING” set the steaming container on the counter.
 
- That will beeyYYYYNGH! – the ray from the gun turned him into a puddle of bright green substance.
 
These kind of people wouldn’t make a lot of Slime. I tasted a bit. Nothing spectacular, but I poured the rest into the box. It’s the best takeaway Earth has to offer.

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"Slimed Chicken" illustration by Barbara Okrasa.
Translated to English by Señor Editor.
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Tagged: Slime Fiction.

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