SSN: Australia Denies Kangaroo OriginsThis is SSN: A “trilobite” fossil (also known as “Kabuto”) has been discovered at Emu Bay on Kangaroo island in Australia. While experts are saying that it was a “terror” of the ocean floor, they're denying any link to modern day kangaroos.
That is an incredible number, at no time in human history have we threatened that many living things. For all the talk about how we ruin everything, it's good to see that humanity can achieve so much when we work together. 
An artist's impression of a Redlichia rex trilobite - Katrina Kenny
While officially not linked with kangaroos, it's clear that the location of the discovery makes it an ancestor of either the modern kangaroo or, less likely, the emu. The “formidable legs” are all the evidence we need to suggest that this creature had a link to the kangaroo, but there has been no word from the Australian government as to how the two are related. The discovery was discussed in the Journal of Systematic Palaeontology, by a team of scientists from the University of Adelaide, South Australian Museum. Even in the official report, kangaroos were not mentioned. While the denial of the relation between the Redlichia Rex and the kangaroo has been conveniently left out, the most disturbing quote is this: “Interestingly, trilobite specimens from the Emu Bay Shale — including Redlichia rex — exhibit injuries that were caused by shell-crushing predators”. So not only are they denying evolutionary links with the kangaroo, they're also, unwittingly, confirming the existence of something bigger and far more dangerous. Given how skilled kangaroos are at boxing (which we know thanks to many sources, such as Tom and Jerry and Looney Tunes), it's hard to believe that anything could rival the sea dwelling kangaroo ancestor. And yet, something existed that was far more powerful. If they're denying the link between the Redlichia Rex and the kangaroo, what could they be hiding that manages to be even more dangerous? So this leads to the question “what's more dangerous than a kangaroo?” and, obviously, the answer is spiders. So, do we need to worry about an ancient spider that's more dangerous than a violent, boxing kangaroo? It's best not to draw conclusions, but the fact that they've made no comment on their attempt to spread giant, evil poisonous spiders across the globe leads one to believe that there's a lot more going on. Again, the Australian government has made no comment on this. So, no comment on the spread of giant spiders. No comment on the link between kangaroos and the Redlichia Rex. No comment on what kaiju like spider caused its extinction. Should we be worried? Here at Trash Mutant, we always suggest caution when it comes to scientific discoveries. There may not be a need to panic, but if there's some sort of prehistoric creature that can defeat a kangaroo, should we not be more cautious? We don't know what this creature has evolved into. Perhaps it has evolved into something “harmless” and is currently waiting for humanity to drop its guard. It could be anything: Cats, dogs, budgies, any household pet. More disturbing, it could be ancient mermaids that slaughtered these harmless predatory sea kangaroos. Should we be more vigilant when it comes to sea travel? Are pirates the least of our worries? The investigation into the Australian government continues here at Trash Mutant, so do keep an eye out for any updates on this ongoing conspiracy. 
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