They Got 99 Problems! Game Industry in 2013
Well, ok, perhaps 99 is a bit of an exaggeration and I am certainly not going to cover them all here. But the Video Game industry does have a lot of problems. Problems that can easily be fixed, despite the industry’s reluctance to do so. That’s why I’m writing this article, to give them the simplest solutions to a handful of their problems! You’re welcome!
Problem Numero Uno! Sexy Sexism! Have you seen Dead or Alive? With the bouncing boobs and such? I don’t want to spend a lot of time talking about sexism in video games. People have talked about that better than I could so I’ll just tell you how it should be fixed. We have two options! One: We create positive, well written female characters like Lara Croft or Heather Mason. We know that the development team on Remember Me had to fight to get a female protagonist, and the game already has a lot of people supporting it. What the industry doesn’t know, something we’ve known for a long time, is that female protagonists can be as interesting and awesome as a male protagonist. This may SEEM like the best option right now, but let’s take a look at option two. Option Two: We put boobs on everything. Duke Nukem Forever got this right, at least with their boob walls. So let’s use that and put boobs on EVERYTHING. Guns, knives, faces, helicopters, save points. How would this help you ask? Good question! I didn’t think that far ahead! Option one might be better! Problem Number Dos! Ultra Violence! You probably know all about this one. If you don’t... where have you been? Outside in the fresh air or something? Politicians, especially American politicians, have been calling for a ban on games, tighter restrictions on who can buy these games, taxes on the violence and so on. Good news, video game industry! This isn’t a problem you’re causing! The age ratings on games are actually more in depth and tighter than any other medium’s rating, so we’re fine there. People claim to have proof that video games cause violence and aggression but these same people’s studies have been backed by the people desperately trying to prove this. It’s the same on the other side of the fence, of course; there’s no proof that they don’t cause violence and aggression. It’s just that there are far too many different variables to sort through to come to any conclusions. But the video game industry CAN solve this problem, should they want to. They can stop politicians from using the paranoia plaguing their voters as a way to win votes, at least. Solution: DNA reading controllers that EXPLODE. When a disc rated 18 is inserted by someone who isn’t over 18, the controller blows up in their hands, leaving them with bloody stumps. There, violence issue solved. Ongelma numero 3! Marketing! This is currently the problem in the spotlight for the game industry. Both the new Tomb Raider and Resident Evil 6 are considered a failure by their publisher. Tomb Raider sold around 3.4 million copes while Resident Evil 6 sold around 4.9 million. Total failures. That’s because publishers put in huge amounts of money to try and make it the best looking game it could (although, with Resident Evil 6, quality gameplay wasn’t top of their list of things to do), expecting these games to sell DOUBLE what they did sell. Those kinds of expectations are incredibly unrealistic. So, thanks to the budget, they made very little profit. So, what of games that made huge profits in comparison? Dark Souls sold nearly 2.4 million copies. Not as many as the previous mentioned games but, considering the tiny budget and the fact that this game is not aimed at the masses, that’s a huge profit. Ok, so the industry must have learnt from that; you don’t have to aim a game at everyone to get profit. You don’t need a huge budget, either. Nope. Lee Kirton, PR director of Bandai, has said they’re treating Dark Souls 2 as a massive AAA game aimed at Skyrim players. “We’re going after people who love and adore Dark Souls, while hopefully widening the net a little. I’m not saying that every Skyrim player’s going to be jumping on Dark Souls, but it would be nice if some of them did. It’s a different game, sure.” The statement itself suggests they’re HOPING to get some new players and they’re only marketing Dark Souls 2 as a AAA title, rather than sinking AAA money into it. BUT, given the industry’s recent history, it’s pretty much “WE WANT ALL THE MONEY!!!” The Dead Space games went from great Sci-Fi horror to another generic shooter, effectively ruining what was a fantastic franchise so it could be marketed to people who play those games. There’s nothing wrong with change, of course. As long as that change improves the game and is not there to make it appeal to as many people as possible. So, the video game industry has a habit of taking niche games that sell well and trying to make sequels that everyone wants to play, while getting rid of what made those games so fun in the first place. They also like to have crazy expectations. And that’s only one side of the marketing issues in the industry. The advertising also has problems! The industry is so very new to its popularity that it doesn’t actually know what it’s doing yet! At least, that’s how it seemed when EA, promoting Dante’s Inferno, asked Comic Con’ ‘09 goers to post sexy pictures of themselves with Booth Babes. The best picture would win "a sinful night with two hot girls, a limo service, paparazzi, and a chest full of booty." Yeah, you’re all class EA. It’s not just EA, of course; Sony promoted God of War in Athens with a party involving topless women and a goat’s head. And this hasn’t stopped. Strippers have been used during a developer convention. Stop, Industry! Stop! Let’s jump straight into the solution here: Send all of the topless women you’re planning to use to me. That way, you won’t be tempted to use them. Logic, right? And, also, just make games with an appropriate budget. If your game is niche and becomes successful, focus on what made it successful. Wow, that took longer than I thought! And that’s only three problems solved! Don’t agree with my silly solutions? Have some of your own? Let us know below! |
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