TM Movie News: 50 Shades of Justice Park Wars... Story.

- by The Rajun Cajun, 28 January 2013

Trash Mutant! After a pretty long period of no actual movie news, I’m glad to be back and share with you the first official Movie News segment of 2013! So sit back, relax, and listen to all that cool stuff coming your way to a theater near you. And… ya know… all the not-so-cool stuff too. Take the good with the bad, folks!

• Let’s cut to the chase and talk about that huge story that I (and the rest of the entire geek population) are so pumped up about. JJ Abrams is officially going to be directing Star Wars: Episode VII! Yay! This is amazing and awesome and I can’t wait for this movie and it’ll be the best thing ever oh my God! Fanboy switch off. Seriously though readers, this is excellent news. He did absolute wonders with bringing Star Trek back to life, and this will be a billion times even better because he’s actually a passionate and huge fan of the Star Wars franchise. He’ll bring soul back to the beloved franchise, because, let’s face it; those prequels were just so blatantly lifeless. The job will be challenging, no doubt, but if anyone could breathe life into it, it’s going to be a fan that does so. Good luck Mr. Abrams, and you have my, and apparently the majority of my twitter feed’s, support.

• While we’re talking about space, let’s talk about a quite controversial story involving Marvel/Disney’s Guardians of the Galaxy. For those of you who are still unfamiliar with the team, there are a bunch of characters that are… let’s say “out there” in terms of what the general public are used to. In this particular instance, this team’s roster features an anthropomorphic raccoon that wields Gatling guns, and a walking, talking, butt-kicking tree. Rocket Raccoon and Groot, respectively. Still with me? Good. Supposedly, and I mean supposedly, the studio is looking at either Jim Carrey or Adam Sandler to voice what has to be those two characters. Now, if it came down to it, Carrey I can see for Groot. Maybe. But what?! Neither one of those actors have taken their careers seriously in years! I mean Adam Sandler’s last movie was about him playing Twister with himself dressed as a woman! Marvel, stop! This far into the game, despite the rumor, I trust Marvel/Disney. I think I know what they’re doing by now (after having made a billion dollars with The Avengers), so I’m calling shenanigans on this rumor. Still, it’s wacky enough to laugh at, so there ya go, my lovely readers.

• In other comic book movie news, what’s the latest scoop on the highly anticipated Justice League film by Warner Bros? Wonder no more, because we now have our “official” roster: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, and Flash. There you go folks. The Justice League will be in the Justice League movie. In related news, Iron Man will be in Iron Man 3! Seriously though, I guess it’s cool to have “confirmation,” (it’s in quotes because WB’s not saying anything) but I’m a little bummed about Aquaman or Martian Manhunter not being included. But, because of their lack of popularity and overall appeal towards the average movie-going audience, I can’t say that I’m not surprised if this rumor is correct.

SURPRISE!

• In sequel news, Jurassic Park 4 is ready to go. It’s tough for a person who has never seen Jurassic Park 2 or 3 to give an insightful opinion on this particular story, but as a man who loved the first film and likes himself some dinosaurs, I think this will be a good time at the movies. I mean, it can’t be worse than the next story I got for ya.

• Sigh… 50 Shades of Grey. The movie! Yeah, that will be a thing… For those of you who have no idea what this is, let me explain it to you so your mother, aunt, or any other older woman you know won’t have to. 50 Shades of Grey is a book that started off as this woman writing Twilight fan-fiction. Then, for whatever reason, it evolved into this erotic (and poorly written, by the way) novel series that old ladies just can’t seem to get enough of. There is going to be a lot of sexual content for this adaption, of course, so the screenwriter is already saying that it’ll be rated NC-17, and not R. Isn’t that just lovely? Rhetorical question. It’s not. Next story.

• Pretty things to look at time! The Blue Umbrella. It’s Pixar’s new short, and a clip of it was released. It has very unique style to it, and it’s bound win some awards because… Pixar. Look at it!

Who likes Toy Story? These extremely talented individuals recreated the entire first film with real people and real toys. The live-action Toy Story! For anyone who appreciates the fantastic film, absolutely check it out if you can spare an hour and change. Look at this!

And that’s that, readers! What do you think about JJ Abrams taking over "Star Wars"? Does any of the "Guardians of the Galaxy" news phase you? If so, which would you rather see be involved: Carrey or Sandler? What about all that other stuff? "Jurassic Park 4"? "50 Shades of Grey"? The live-action "Toy Story" film? Let us know in that beautiful little comment section below! Until next time, Trash Mutant! Thanks for reading!

Tagged: TM Movie News.

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