5 "Hellblazer" Stories Fit for the TV Show

- by Ninja Ross, 23 April 2014

I may or may not have mentioned it before, but I happen to be a huge fan of Hellblazer. It’s full of horror, political satire and it’s just plain awesome. And now they’re making a TV show, starring Matt Ryan! Isn’t that cool?!?

Well, it COULD be cool. They’re having trouble convincing NBC to allow the character to smoke, something that’s pretty essential. They’re also saying that “multiple DC guest stars” is a selling point, which it shouldn’t be. “Multiple DC guest stars” take a lot away from Arrow, already; especially since what they really mean is “Batman’s D-List villains.”

Problems aside, what we know of the plot so far is... Interesting. I don’t like it. I meant interesting in a negative sense. Shocktilyoudrop.com claims to have obtained a script for the pilot, and they’ve lists the key point, if you care to read it.

Chas looks stupid, this whole sidekick thing is stupid, being set in New York is stupid. It’s a lot of stupid. But at least they got the mental hospital thing right.

So, screw that. Let’s take a look at some Hellblazer stories that they should be looking at for the series. Some stories that could easily be adapted for the small screen.


1. HUNGER

Click to enlarge

Well, you've got to start somewhere so it might as well be the first two issues of Hellblazer.

In this one, John fights an African hunger demon, which finds itself trapped in the body of Gary Lester, an old buddy of John's (that's Lester right here on the left).

Not only is this story just plain fun to read, it also introduces all the major characters in Constantine's world; most notably, Chas Chandler (played by Shia la-what's-his-face in the Keanu movie) and Papa Midnight.

The story also shows John's habit of sacrificing his own friends, often to save his own skin. It's a pretty perfect introduction to the character.

2. DANGEROUS HABITS

For those of you who don't know, John Constantine has suffered lung cancer in the past. He got better, obviously, but it did look like the end for him at the time. 

It was the basis for the Keanu Reeves movie back in 2005, and it's the best known Helblazer story. So it's pretty familiar ground. 

It would, however, be a perfect ongoing plot. Watching John slowly die as he races to find a way to cheat death throughout the season could create some nice tension. Since NBC have a bit of an anti smoking thing going on, this would probably work in their favour. SMOKING IS BAD. 

But, unlike the end of the Keanu movie, Constantine should not quit. That's not cool. In complete contradiction to what I said at the end of the previous paragraph, smoking is COOL.

3. STARING AT THE WALL

Another candidate for an ongoing season plot, Staring at the Wall features John and a host of other magicians fighting an enemy from the dawn of man, a creature that refused Adam as its master.

While Mike Carey’s entire run is fantastic, this is the one part that'd translate to screen better. Of course, you'd need to take elements from the rest of the run to build the story, but that can be worked out pretty easily.

The main thing is, the action and suspense in this story should please the majority audience. It's not overly complicated, it's not full of satire or metaphors or anything like that and it does feature a pretty awesome scene with Swamp Thing in some badass armour. Also, it's a great way to cram in some DC guest stars with good reason. You could pretty easily replace most of the characters from the book with the likes of Zatana or Dead Man.

4. FREEZES OVER

Since it's being set in America, it'd be pretty hard to overlook Brian Azzarello's flawed, yet still pretty great run.

The run follows John as he tries to figure out why an old friend of his killed himself. It's not a bad bunch of stories overall, but one of the stand out stories was a brief detour to an unnamed American bar during a snow storm, where he found himself in the middle of a hostage situation.

It has a nice, tense atmosphere and John's confidence under pressure and his ability to manipulate others is clearly evident. It's perfect for a quick one episode story. Since it has a snow storm, it could even be one for Christmas!

5. SON OF MAN

Every TV show needs a comedic episode or two and Son of Man is perfect for that. This story features John breaking the fourth wall in order to narrate the story to us. Probably not something writers on the show would be looking to do, but still.

The story itself features John trying to get Chas out of a bad situation with one of London's scariest mob bosses. Unfortunately, John had a run in with this mob boss fifteen years previously, when he "resurrected" his dead soon. 

By "resurrected" I, obviously, mean that he crammed a demon inside the corpse and hoped for the best.

It has a fair few comedic moments, besides the fourth wall breaking, and still offers some darker moments. In my opinion, it's some of Garth Ennis' best work on Hellblazer. Unfortunately, I highly doubt they’re going to go for anything that’ll take away from the dark, miserable gritty attitude they’ll no doubt force into the show. But still, I think this story would be ideal to show the lighter side of Constantine.

And that about wraps it up! These are the kind of stories Goyer and company should be looking at. These stories have no sidekicks.  And Chas isn’t “a tall, sensitive, quiet type.” Jesus... At least Matt Ryan looks the part, I guess...


While Ninja Ross mumbles to himself about NBC’s upcoming “Constantine,” why don’t you tell us what stories you think would work! Are you looking forward to the show? Or are you going to give it a miss? Tell us all about it below!

Tagged: comics, movies & TV.

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